Family by Choice
by Some Chinese Guy
Summary: Small circle of close friends she always looks forward to meet with.


Mornings, Yukino decided long time ago, had one definitely good trait: they helped her clear her mind. No matter what happened the day prior, or how down she felt by nighttime, next morning she would wake up level-headed, calm and mostly all right. And what was left out of that "mostly" part wasn't of anyone's business.

She remembered that notion yet again while lying in her bed, woken up by a thin stripe of sunlight coming through curtains. Her bedroom was facing north, so that stripe probably slowly moved from the top of the pillow to finally reach her eyes. Just like a playful cat approaching its owner to sniff her up, tap her nose with its paw and purr softly into her ear. Not that she ever had any, but the comparison felt nice.

Something was not right, Yukino thought hazily. Different from usual. Only after stretching her arms she finally realized: she was lying on her bed in street clothes, curled under the coat. Her feet were still clad in outdoor shoes.

Oh, right.

She was at the family dinner yesterday. Their driver rode her home. She made it to the door, stumbled through dark apartment to her bedroom and collapsed onto bed. Didn't even care to take off the shoes.

She really wanted to cry last night, Yukino mused. She was a strong girl. Strong girls didn't cry. That time with Yuigahama-san was an exception: it was, after all, Yuigahama-san. Last night was so devastating she was ready to throw her principles out of the window, but the tears simply didn't come. Instead she lay on her bed, staring at nothing in particular and wishing she just cried already, until sleep took over.

She couldn't even cry properly when she needed it most. How sad was that?..

Yukino slowly got up from the bed, taking off her coat and looking at crumpled bedsheets in disdain. What a mess. She'll probably have to wash them. Not to mention hang the coat, change into indoor clothes…

But one thing at a time. Change into something comfortable. Gather her street garments and the bedsheets to sort for the washing machine. Fetch fresh sheets and make her bed. Hang the coat. Put the shoes in the lobby. Take a shower, carefully comb her hair. Brush her teeth. Eat simple breakfast: black tea and a toast with raspberry jam. Do the dishes. Start the washing machine, vacuum the floor, check for dust and dirt everywhere. Finish in time for the washing machine to stop, hang the laundry out to dry and load the the next batch.

Just what she always did on holidays, with minor alterations. Housework was good at clearing her mind too, even better than the mornings.

Done and done. Time to get a good well-earned rest and return to her current book.

Yukino returned to the kitchen to get some more tea. That and check if the dishes were held firmly in place.

She did anticipate the first nights after moving in would be the toughest. She was always proud of not clinging to others and feeling perfectly fine in solitude. Stupid girl. Turned out she just never knew what being alone really meant before. All by herself in a large dark apartment, so deceptively calm and so full of echoes and so _empty_ Yukino suddenly felt like the last human being on Earth. After tossing and turning for some time she finally calmed down and sank into long-awaited slumber-

_CLANK!_

Yukino bolted upright, eyes wide, heart beating in her throat, breath fast and shallow. Slowly, she reached for the desk lamp with a shaking hand and turned on the light. Then, still shaking, she took careful steps to the room's light switch. Then to the corridor's, then the to the kitchen's. Having already recognized the sound, she opened the dish shelf. This was it. Earlier she put one cup on top of another, so now it lost balance and moved off. Breathing a sigh of relief, she placed the cup more steadily and returned to her bed, turning the lights off on her way and slowly calming down. Look at yourself, she thought angrily. What a scaredy-cat. All the fuss for just a teacup. She won't back down because of the stupid teacup.

Because the alternative was to return _back there._

All in all Yukino was glad she got accustomed to living alone in this spacious apartment. In a week she was comfortable enough to call it home, and that switch was quicker and easier than she expected. She just needed to periodically check for the dishes and cups being held firmly in place, is all.

On her way to the bedroom Yukino spotted a familiar package. Oh gosh, she almost forgot. Birthday presents. Birthday presents from him and her. She hadn't even unpacked them yet.

Yukino took the package and proceeded to the bedroom, feeling the joyful anticipation and wondering if this feeling was normal when someone received presents. She sat on the bed and started fetching the package's contents, one by one. Three gift-wrapped items of clothing and a separate small plastic case. No doubt from Yuigahama-san and Hikigaya-kun respectively. She eagerly took the first item, unwrapped it and gasped softly.

Mittens. Cat paw-styled mittens. They got me, she thought shaking her head. Just her size and finely woven. She put them on to check. The mittens felt really warm. It's not like her current winter gloves weren't, but these felt _warm_ warm. The kind of warm only a present can give. She took them off and carefully put away.

Upon unwrapping the next item Yukino almost felt cat ears sprout on her head. Nevermind the mittens, here were the cat-paw socks. With antiskid rubber heels. She didn't even know those existed.

Without a second thought Yukino switched her socks for the new ones, stood up and tiptoed around the room, making a couple of twirls in process. It's not like tiptoeing was all that necessary, she admitted to herself, but then dismissed the thought entirely and giddily circled around the room once more.

Yukino suddenly realized she didn't feel like that in a long time. Probably since kindergarten, come to think about it.

Last one was the woven cardigan. Yukino tentatively unfolded it, checking the texture with her fingers. Slightly big for her frame… but still soft and warm. And not itchy, as she gladly noted after she put it on. She clearly imagined Yuigahama-san choosing it.

Yukino still couldn't wrap her head around the fact they became this close. Yuigahama-san had the whole school of nice cheery girls to befriend. Why _her_? There were moments she felt unworthy… but then Yuigahama-san would come into the clubroom, say her silly greeting and make her happy by simply being there. Yuigahama-san was the first one in ages who Yukino could return the embrace to. That meant more to her than she would allow herself to admit.

Finally, she reached for the plastic case and opened it. Glasses… polarized computer ones. She felt her lips curl upward. That was so _him_. Pragmatic, blunt… considerate.

Life is a strange thing sometimes. Some rugged cynical know-it-all appeared in her club one Spring afternoon to be fixed into a decent individual. She did so and tried her best to verbally beat some sense into him. He countered, she repeated. That continued the next day. And the day after. And then somehow their sparrings turned into a form of entertainment and she got accustomed to the sight of him reading a book at the desk across her.

They read, they argued, they solved others' requests, and somewhere along the lines they opened up before each other and got hurt. Strangest of it all was that, contrary to how it was before, they got healed the same way: by opening up once more.

I have been accepted, she suddenly thought. Without questions, expectations or demands. She couldn't even find the right words to express how grateful she was.

Now, clad in cat socks and cardigan and adjusting glasses on her nose, Yukino reached for her book, feeling the tight knot in her chest slowly unwind. Finally at peace, she read on, thinking that maybe, someday, she'd definitely return the hugs she owned them both.

_A/N: There, I've written a hurt/comfort fic. Yukino's family is that depressing._

_That and happy New Year, folks._


End file.
